One of the most common questions I am asked is, “Should I use the name and pronouns that someone is asking me to?” People often start their questions with, “I know what the Bible says, but…” or “I feel like I’m lying, but…”.

First, ask yourself whether you think God cares if someone identifies as male or female. Why or why not? Genesis 1:27 tells us that “God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them;   male and female he created them.” There are probably endless reasons God created us this way, most of which we will not learn this side of Heaven. But there are some purposes we know of:

• God wanted us to be fruitful and multiply.
• God wanted the man and the woman to be a gift to one another.
• He gave males and females different characteristics to be a good team together.
• He made men to bear His image in some ways and women to bear His image in other ways.
• He created our entire bodies as either male or female, not just our genitalia.

Be Fruitful and Multiply

God’s first command to human beings was to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28). We know from biblical studies that the first time God mentions something is significant. His whole point in creating human beings is for relationships. He wanted us to know Him, primarily. But He also gave us the capacity to produce other humans, build relationships with other humans, and teach them to know Him. Our desire and ability to be in relationship with others reflects God’s relational nature within the Godhead as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, but also His desire to be in relationship with human beings.

The human body is a witness to God’s design as male or female. Only a male-female pair can create life. If evolution were true, why would it be a biological advantage to need a male and a female to procreate? Evolution says that everything is evolving to higher life forms that are more efficient and more advanced. But some simple amoebas and bacteria reproduce asexually, without a sexual partner. It is mostly the basic life forms that reproduce asexually. So, it is not due to efficiency, but intentional, purposeful design, that God created us to produce with an opposite-sex partner.

The Entire Human Body is Created Either Male or Female

God also created the male and female to be a gift to one another. There are over 6,500 biological differences between men and women. Nearly every single cell of the body contains sex chromosomes. As a result, every part of the body has a sex-specific design in some capacity. Although there are many similarities, there are differences in the design that greatly impact function. There are differences in hearing, in the ways the brain communicates and processes, in the muscles, bones, lungs, the heart, and so much more. And all of those differences point to the roles that God gave us.

Why would God go to such great lengths to design the entire body as sex-specific if He did not care if we identified as male or female? If it did not matter to God how we identify, I would say that He would have created us asexually. If the entire body has a sex-specific design, it is evident that it is integral and foundational to our identity. And if it is that important whether we are created male or female, then it is a great sin against God and against that person to affirm them as the opposite sex God created.

God’s Glory Revealed in Male and Female

God is also glorified in His design of male and female. Have you ever looked at someone and been unable to determine if they were male or female? This is a growing trend in our society where people are attempting to erase gender by becoming “non-binary” or “gender non-conforming”. What happens to your brain if you can’t categorize that person as male or female? Many of the proponents of gender non-conformity would tell you that male or female is a confining, societal construct based on stereotypes. They see gender non-conformity as “freeing” people to be their true, individual, unique selves.

However, many studies have determined that the brain automatically tries to determine gender. This is a hard-wired function that fires neurons in the brain to respond based on sex. This is not only found in humans but in many other species. Mice respond differently by trying to mate with females and attack other males, babies respond more positively to the face of a person who is the same sex as their primary caregiver, and gender is one of the first things someone recognizes about another person. So, God designed every part of our body as male or female, designed our body to reproduce human life, and wired our brains to quickly and easily recognize others as male or female. 

The Lord began to teach me that not only has He created male and female bodies differently for physical purposes, but that those purposes point to a much greater reality. The entire body of a woman is designed to reflect her relational, nurturing, and comforting nature. This ultimately is a picture to the world of God’s relational, nurturing, comforting nature. Man’s entire body is designed to reflect his ability to spring into action and problem solve, to protect, to lead, and so much more. This is a picture of God’s power, of His leadership, of His protection, and His provision. Both are important, both reflect God’s glory. But they do so differently.

Practical Application:

1. I am not going to intentionally embarrass someone. If I notice someone in public may be trans, I do not “out” them. Sometimes I initially thought someone was trans and was wrong.
2. Most of the time you don’t need to use someone’s pronouns when talking to them.
3. Use the name they give you unless you have established a relationship. Sometimes I will have a conversation first, listen to their story, share the Gospel, and then ask their name. If they tell you their name, you don’t have to call them that. Simply respond, “Nice to meet you!”
4. If pressed on it and they demand that you use their preferred name and pronouns, take Jesus’s example, and ask questions when confronted. Engage them rather than give a quick rebuttal.

Endnotes:
1. Goldman, Bruce. “Animal Magnetism: Scientists find neurons that hard-wire brains to recognize the sex of        strangers”. 2019 June 12. https://stanmed.stanford.edu/brains-hard-wired-recognize-opposite-sex/
2. Pickron, Charisse B. and Cheries, Erik W. “Infants’ Individuation of Faces by Gender”. Brain Sciences. 2019 Jul 11. doi: 10.3390/brainsci9070163. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6680589/
3. Puiu, Tibi. “When interacting with other people, we first notice race and gender”. 2015 March 8. ZME Science. https://www.zmescience.com/science/when-interacting-with-other-people-we-first-notice-race-and-gender

Laura Beth Smalts, co-founder of Eden’s Redemption with her husband Perry, is the author of Transgender to Transformed, her story of living nine years as a trans man before embracing the woman God created her to be. A former First Stone team member (2019-2023), she boldy proclaims the beauty of God’s design in gender.