The holiday season, from Thanksgiving to Christmas, can feel like navigating a minefield, especially when relationships with family or friends are strained. Challenges arise instead of the joyous celebrations we hope for—giving thanks, honoring our Savior’s birth, and sharing warm moments. Whether it’s a loved one newly embracing an LGBTQIA+ identity, personal struggles amplified by the season, or the tension between family members who either show unwavering support or harsh condemnation, these dynamics can make the holidays feel overwhelming and even unapproachable. 

For those wrestling with sexual and relational brokenness, the holidays can feel like an emotional minefield, tempting them to retreat into obscurity and unhealthy coping mechanisms. Others may face the inevitability of encountering a family member who triggers intense emotions, stirring up stress, anxiety, or anger. It’s common to seek escape through sexual sin, addictions, or other numbing behaviors, yet these struggles often coexist with deeper emotions like loneliness, grief, sorrow, or rage. Loss in its many forms can make the holidays a deeply challenging and even dreaded season.

Exploring how we navigate unwanted or challenging situations that may trigger emotional or behavioral responses can be both insightful and transformative. By understanding our reactions, we can align ourselves more closely with God’s truth and strength during times of difficulty. As I reflected on this, the phrase “Know Thyself” came to mind. Immediately, it underscored the importance of self-awareness in recognizing how our responses can serve as steps toward standing before and with God in any trial. 

This phrase reminded me of a scriptural equivalent. Psalm 139:23-24 reads,

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there is any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.”

It reflects how God knows our hearts and guides us.

This passage nails it, I think. It’s an invitation to look to God to ask this very question, which I believe is the best route to take for a less negative internal response to the holidays. 

Over the years, I have grown more aware of the importance of preparing my heart for the challenges daily life may bring. Now, I encourage others to do the same. Singing about ‘peace on earth and goodwill’ is uplifting, but for those who dread this season, those words can sometimes feel hollow. 

I’m not suggesting any kind of formula or implying that if you follow it, all the things you dread will magically disappear. However, I do believe that God’s Word holds profound counsel for those facing troubling times. Jesus also assured us in John 16:33: “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

I firmly believe that when we release to Jesus the things that are out of our control or what seem to be out of our control, we invite Him to speak, strengthen us, and move in our lives.  I’m reminded of Philippians 4:8: “Finally brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy – meditate on these things.”

Scripturally speaking, we have the freedom to choose where we place our focus, and having a plan can make a significant difference—especially when faced with the unexpected during this time of year. If we plan for the possibility of a challenge, we can thoughtfully decide how we will minimize or manage that interaction. Creating a strategy to address potential difficulties is far more effective than leaving everything to chance. We can confidently bring our prayers and concerns before the Lord, trusting that He will provide exactly what we need in all circumstances.  My prayer is that you all have a blessed Christmas and Happy New Year in Jesus.